Litany of the Long Self
lxxi · February 23, 2023If you’re anything like me, your brain does not summon up reasons to be proud without some delicate coaxing. It helps to keep a “done list” to complement your “to-do” list for the day, to acknowledge how much you’ve accomplished. This can change the character of a day from “what a bust” to “what an achievement”. But you also need it on a larger scale. When you genuinely reflect on the overwhelming torrent of the long and fractally detailed history of your life so far, you find there is so much to give yourself credit for, so much evidence that you’ve been through a lot and you can surely get through a lot more. Here’s a list that I recite to myself on days when I am uncertain about whether I’ll be able to handle whatever comes next.
- I have sprinted and shipped under pressure, again and again
- I have spoken, and written, and conveyed wisdom
- I have studied and learned
- I have built with my hands, with my mind, and with my words
- I have glimpsed a faraway land, learned its ways, and called it home
- I have carved my own path amidst false idols
- I have listened to and nurtured selves I did not know I contained
- I have met my icons and kept my cool
- I have come to contain what I admire
- I have understood deep truths about the universe
- I have made relationships stronger and stronger
- I have resisted temptation
- I have learned to be satisfied with less, and then done it again and again
- I have kept quiet when my voice was not needed
- I have devised a sturdy vehicle to fortify my frailties
- I have made my own tools and discovered wisdom in my own ways
- I have seen the absence of self
- I have nurtured a good child
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- I will study and learn
- I will raise two good people
- I will find ever more peace, inspiration, and belonging
- I will create opportunities for more people to be inspired and find truth
- I will witness unimaginable progress
- My best days are ahead of me